you

Disclaimer, if you're not ready to read a cheesy ass post, then I suggest you don't.
Because this platform is for me to write how I'm feeling, so I don't really need anyone to tell me what I can and what I cannot write. So here goes.

Many anons on ask.fm are always asking me, 

"So, what do you like about Sean?"

and I never knew how to give an answer because

I always felt that my answers will never do what he does for me 

as my boyfriend any justice.
So here I am, trying my best to make sure he's sounds as amazing as he really is.
People might call this cheesy and disgusting,
but what exactly can they tell me about the love we share?
What do they know?

I've dated before, I've had crushes before, 

or what they call "eye candies",

 but I've never felt the way I feel about Sean with anyone else.

From the day we started to text up till now, nothing has changed.

What we share, is just purely amazing.

"Maybe you guys are still in the honeymoon period",

they say.

Yeah, maybe we are, maybe we aren't.

But right now all I know is that, 

I still feel like I'm falling in love with him every single day. 

What he does for me simply amazes me.

I don't deny I ask too much from him, 

how much I want him to devote his time to me and me only.

What amazes me is how he really tries his best
just to make me happy.

Making my happiness his first priority.

As long as I'm happy, he's happy. 

Even as he is tired as fuck from national trainings, 

he never never fails to text me,

never fails to find whatever energy he has left to meet me,

never fails to make me laugh, make me happy.

He never fails to hug me when I'm sad, compliment me when I'm insecure,

 break when I cry, smile when I do,

reminds me that he loves me, 

and we are to last forever and always.
He never fails.

I may seem bubbly most of the times,

but I can have the most awful mood swings
and throw the worst tantrums.

He doesn't 'deal' with my immaturity that much, 

instead he reminds me dearly to see my inadequacies not as a flaw,

but a stepping stone to becoming a better person,

while reminding me of all the strengths that he sees, that I don't.

Thank you,

 for making me a better person than I was yesterday.

He's always there.
Every time I break down from whatever reasons, he's there.
Either by my side physically, or over the phone,
he calls, no matter where he is or how busy he is
just to make sure that I'm okay.
When we are hanging out in a group, he looks out for me.
Be there for me when he can clearly tell I'm uncomfortable,
he hugs me and asks how I'm feeling.
He can read me like a book, he sure can.
I tell him I'm very lucky to have him,
but he only replies,
"I'm the lucky one". 

I don't deny that we have our fair share of conflicts,

mainly due to insecurities that I never fail to have.

He doesn't rage, he doesn't get angry,

but instead he patiently tells me how much he loves me,

and what he loves about me.

"I love your insecurities because that's what makes you, you."

Even as I'm shouting at the top of my lungs, 

crying my eyes out, 

he screams over me and

fills in the gaps of whatever I felt I was lacking in.

The little things he does. 

Always feeding me the first mouth of his food/drinks,
no matter how hungry or thirsty he gets.
Cleaning my skirt when it gets coffee-stained.
Drying my hair thoroughly after I shower,
because who loves wet hair?
Wiping my tears for me, and basically just everything.
All the small things,
thank you.

Right now,

As I'm missing him, I'm an emotional wreck.

I spend my most of my time just waiting for his texts, basically.
Fucking time differences.

And when I do talk to him, he asks me,

"Why are you so sad? Be happier." 

I just honestly reply that it was because I was missing him.

And it gets him so affected just because I'm sad.

so

I promise him that I'm okay, with a smile.

A genuine one. 

Not because I miss him any less, 

but because I wanted him to be happy so badly.

My mum was angry to why I sleep so much nowadays, 

and I really never bothered to explain because I assumed no one will understand.

Maybe I sleep so much because I'm eagerly waiting for time to pass.

Maybe I just want the day to pass faster, and the nights to come quicker. 

Maybe because when night time arrives, it's nearer to a new day, 

it's a day closer till we reunite.

Maybe that's why.



-

That was written when he was away, and he has been back for about a week or so.
Things have been great, amazing actually, even though we have our bad days for sure. Thank you for loving me always these past 4 months, despite all my flaws, really.
You're the greatest gift and I'm so grateful for you, no matter how many times I say it.
All I'm ever worried about is that one day you will leave me and believe me, that's not the best feeling to have, is it? But I shall live in the moment and be zen about everything.
I'm still learning, and I believe one day I will reach there.
But till then, guide me along, don't let me walk alone.